During times of desperation and trial, the absolute worst thing to say to someone is ‘face your fears.’ Unfortunately, at some point, in order to get through it, it’s something we all must do.
I remember standing in the kitchen making my daughter’s breakfast and all of a sudden she let out a blood curdling scream.
When I looked at her she had one hand over her mouth and the other one pointing to the floor. I looked down and there was a huge chunk of my long, blonde hair.
I remember waking up to a houseful of obnoxious teens – my son’s friends up to no good in my own house.
He’d promise not to cause trouble and every weekend, I’d have drag my weak body out of bed and hassle with them to leave.
I’d fall back asleep and they’d be back in the house.
I remember violently throwing up in the middle of the night thinking I was going to die.
All of a sudden my daughter would appear. She’d hold my hair out of my face, make sure I was all done, get me a cold wash cloth, escort me back to bed…and then go crawl back into her bed.
Usually this was a school night. No words, just action.
I remember when I had friends over all the time, dinners, the zoo, parks, barbeques. But they all of a sudden didn’t remember me.
I’d spent 2 1/2 months in bed.
Yep. I was pretty much done. Then one morning, when I woke up I heard a voice. Oh great, so now I’m hearing voices…what else could plague poor, pitiful me?
“Get up!” The voice was very clear and very alarming. I sat up looking around. Nobody was in my room. The kids were at school.
“Get up!” Still, nobody to be seen. I lay back down saying to myself that I. Am. Done!
“You’re not done yet. Get up. Take a shower. Do something…whatever you want…just get up! Face your fears!”
So I got up, and kept getting up everyday. I read a lot. Then I started writing. At the end of 6 weeks, I heard the words ‘remission.’
I kept reading and writing. My long lost friends started reappearing. I made them disappear…and I kept writing.
That was a few years ago. Last summer, I made the leap and started a blog.
I make it sound so easy, don’t I? Well, I promise you, I KNOW it’s not.
There were a lot of things I had to do to get to the place where I am today, physically, emotionally and financially.
Here are the steps to take in order to face your fears and put your life back together after loss, illness and/or chaos.
1. Face Your Fears!
First and foremost you have to fight! I don’t mean physically, I mean mentally. Develop your mental strength and feed off of your passion. A saying came to me and I started playing it over and over in my head every single day:
“Never give up! Never give in! Pull from within!”
If you’ve isolated yourself out of depression or shame, pull yourself out of it. Face what you’re going through and don’t let it stop your life!
2. Know What Defines You
Until now, you’ve subconsciously allowed your loss, illness or chaos to define you. Just because you’ve experienced hardship does not mean you’re ‘done’ or you’re a failure.
When you look in the mirror, and when you face others, you don’t say, “Hi, I’m Failure,” or “Hi, I’m Cancer.”
You are NOT that loss, illness or chaos that you’re going through. You are you, and it’s up to you to walk straight through the middle of whatever you’re going through and be amazing.
3. Baby Steps
The only way to face your fears is by action. At first, tiny little things initiate the momentum.
For me, this meant simply getting out of bed every morning and promising myself I wouldn’t get back into it until 8:00 p.m.
Exercise for the first 10 days consisted of walking to the corner…a mere 3 houses away.
Believe…No, Not in Santa…In YOU!
4. No ‘Stinkin Thinkin’ Allowed!
If you’re a client, or a subscriber, you already know my stand on positive core beliefs.
Everything begins and ends with the brain-heart connection. You absolutely must have them on the same wavelength.
If you really want to be a success in your heart but your brain is telling you you’re a failure, or it’s too hard, you aren’t on the same wavelength.
Get them balanced with positive beliefs.
Example: In the story above, in my head, I was saying, “I. Am. Done!” That was what I thought, therefore what I believed. As a result, I did nothing to pull myself back together. Then, I started saying,
Never give up. Never give in. Pull from within!
This is how to reverse negative self talk. Replace your icky thoughts with positive ones that propel you toward success.
5. Take the Trash Out…And Leave it Out!
When life brings illness, depression, financial struggles and other chaos, you really find out who your friends are.
This is the time to eliminate influences, activities, places and habits that lead you to failure or bring you down.
Face your fears and leave anything standing in your way in the trash.
Overcoming illness, loss of a loved one, family dysfunction, heartbreak, financial loss etc. is never easy, but if you follow these five steps when you feel like you’re done, you will find that the hardships that come your way are the experiences you can learn and grow the most from.
I wasn’t done yet, and neither are YOU. Now go face your fears and make it a productive day!
Special Offer: If you have experienced any type of loss, illness or chaos in your life and you’re having trouble picking up the pieces, I want to reach out and offer a consult on how to get started at no charge. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with the title, “I’m not done yet.” This offer is limited and will expire soon. Don’t be shy, or embarrassed…just face your fears. I did, so can you!
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photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/h-k-d/4697201130/in/photostream/