Developing good habits is directly related to your core beliefs. Many times, it’s very easy to start a good habit, but for some reason, we run out of steam and slack off before any results or benefits are seen.
This is because we are trying to establish good habits based upon goals instead of upon beliefs. In order to develop good habits that stick, we need to develop identity based habits. The key to developing these is to focus on reversing negative core beliefs. For example, take a goal or a desire that you have. Form a positive belief about this goal. Then, back up this core belief with actions (habits) that are aimed at making this statement true.
Identity based habits are based on:
1: Your identity; The type of person you believe yourself to be
2. Your actions
3. How people see you
Goal base habits are based on:
1. Your actions
2. How people see you
3. Your identity; Who you believe you are
The reason why goal based habits aren’t as successful in the long term is because you’re consciously changing behavior so OTHERS will view you a certain way BEFORE you truly believe it yourself.
YOUR TRUE COLORS
Have you ever heard the statement, “Their true colors came out?”
Normally, this has a negative connotation to it. It usually means that you viewed a person one way and later discovered that they’re someone completely different.
This is because they’ve tried to develop good habits in an effort to look good to others, but deep down, they don’t believe in themselves.
Because their inner core beliefs don’t match their actions, eventually they drop them and revert back to their old ways…thus showing their ‘true colors.’
Identity based habits don’t work this way. They start from within. You establish an inner core belief. You take action to support that belief…people begin viewing you like your core belief…and pretty soon you’ve established a good habit. Because you began from the inside, the way people are seeing you really is your ‘true colors.’
JUST DO IT
This is a personal example of a struggle I dealt with for years. I HATE to pick up…you know…like put things away.
BUT I love cleaning…you know…washing the counters, making the faucets shine, scrubbing baseboards etc. When things aren’t put away, I can’t clean as thoroughly and I was always saying, “I hate picking up.” It played like an endless tape in my head.
I needed to develop the habit of picking up so that I could do my deep cleaning.
For years, I tried to force good habits for picking the clutter around my house up. The whole time, I’d say to myself, “I HATE picking up!” No matter how hard I tried, I always reverted back to avoiding picking up because I HATE it. This core belief inhibited my ability to develop picking up.
My Steps to Developing Good Habits
1. I changed my inner core belief. “I’m the type of person who does a 15 minute pick up every single day.”
2. In order to support this statement, I actually did the 15 minute pick up. I even got my children involved. It became a game to them and they’d compete on who could pick up the most stuff in 15 minutes.
In the above statement there’s no negativity. There’s no, “I try.” The statement is directly aimed at accomplishing the habit of picking up clutter every single day.
3. In time, the house gradually became less cluttered and everything was a lot cleaner.
As time moves on, and I continue with this positive core belief, not only do I come to believe it more and more, but my house remains clean. That is because I established the good habit of picking up clutter through BELIEVING that I’m the type of person who picks up.
Good habits that actually stick must start with your inner core beliefs. This is a very powerful mental skill that you can develop gradually.
It all begins, and ends, with aligning your brain and your heart.
Establish a good solid core belief, and when your subconscious tries to tell you different, consciously say your positive belief several times.
Pretty soon, that stinking thinking in your head will fade away and you’ll actually start believing what you new core belief is telling you.
THIS is how to develop good habits that stick. For more information on how to use mental skills to thrive physically, emotionally and financially, start with the ‘getting started’ section of this site and make sure to take the mental skills assessment.
You’re never alone and please feel free to contact me with any questions on developing good habits.
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Featured Image Photo Credit morguefile.com
Article Image Photo Credit morgue.file.com